I think I understand why Grace Gelder married herself…

She liked it so she went and put a ring on it……

THE Guardian reported that a woman who had been single for 6 years decide to take the plunge, and say I do. To Herself.

Naturally, like many people, my first reaction was:

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Many of us , including myself, can be cynical when reading articles like the one, but after reading it all through. I re-read it and now, I can honestly say that I understand why she did it.

There is nothing wrong with being single and being ok with it, so why should we judge someone for going that extra mile and telling the whole world they are ok with it, and maybe, a little bit in love with themselves.

The saying goes : “YOU have to love yourself before anyone else can”.

It appears Grace is, so why don’t we just be happy for her?

She also says that, despite her marriage to herself, she is still looking for that perfect person. Good for her, but hey, if it doesn’t work out she is comfortable enough to feel ok with being by her self.

In her now words Grace said: “This has given me this great sense of clarity. I seem to sense much more clearly than before if something is worth pursuing or best left alone.”

In a piece for The Guardian, Grace says that she had been single for six years. SIX YEARS. HOLY MOLY that is a looong time. I don’t know anyone who has been single for six months these days, or at least seeing someone/dating on and off.

Grace learnt more about herself and felt like she like grew as a person.

She said: ” Using meditation, dance and performance to increase my self-awareness. I was aware of getting into a rut, where a relationship with someone else seemed like too much hard work. So I really wanted to pay tribute to this adventurous period of self-discovery but, at the same time, look forward to a new phase.”

In March this year, she married herself in a wedding ceremony where 50 friends and family gathered to celebrate her big day.

I think Grace is brave for what she did, and even braver for telling the world.

If we can’t feel comfortable and love ourselves for who we are, how can we expect someone else to, or even allow someone else in?

Maybe marrying yourself is a bit much for you, but I think that we could all learn a lesson from Grace. I know I have to start concentrating on myself more, stop worrying about what others think, and feel ok in myself.

Hmmm, maybe we all need a bit of Grace in us….

Have a read of the whole story here:

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/oct/04/i-married-myself-wedding

Breast cancer awareness month: How to spot early signs

A NEW B-Aware campaign was launched this year to promote early detection of breast cancer.

One in eight women in the UK will develop breast cancer in their lifetime, and breast cancer awareness month is urging women to check their breasts the right way for any signs of lumps or anything that causes concern.

The three main risks of breast cancer are gender, age and family history. Breast cancer is more common in women over the age of 50, and shockingly, statistics reveal that men over the age over 60 are also likely to contract the disease.

Several female celebrities have been diagnosed with the disease and have been proud to say that they survived.

Sex and the city star Cynthia Nixon was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 40, but had the lump successfully removed. Along with many other women, breast cancer ran in Cynthia’s family, as her mother was also diagnosed with the disease, and fortunately both women survived.

Singer Kylie Minogue, Sheryl Crow and actors Christina Applegate and Diahann Carroll were all diagnosed with breast cancer in later life, and years after they hit their 30th birthday. These women and many more have actively worked with breast cancer awareness to help women spot the signs at an early stage, where the cancer is easier to treat.

An early detection plan has been created on the national breast cancer awareness website, offering women advice on symptoms and signs and how to perform a breast self-exam.

Here’s how to check yourself:

Begin by looking at your breasts in the mirror with your shoulders straight and your arms on your hips. Look for breasts that are their usual size, shape, and colour, breasts that are evenly shaped without visible distortion or swelling. If you see any of the following changes, bring them to your doctor’s attention.

Now, raise your arms and look for the same changes. While you’re at the mirror, look for any signs of fluid coming out of one or both nipples (this could be a watery, milky, or yellow fluid or blood).

Next, feel your breasts while lying down, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few finger pads of your hand, keeping the fingers flat and together. Finally, feel your breasts while you are standing or sitting.

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OCTOBER is breast cancer awareness month

CANCER is a topic we as a society are finally willing to discuss openly with friends and family and more of us are standing up to cancer, refusing to let this horrific disease ruin our lives or the lives of our loved ones.

As brave as we now are to tackle this illness head on, more and more people are diagnosed with cancer every year, despite scientists working on finding a cure.

Breast cancer is still the most common cancer in women in Wales and every year over 2,600 women and around 15 men are diagnosed. Despite the disheartening feeling when being diagnosed with breast cancer, Carmarthenshire’s BMI Werndale Hospital released figures that showed a rare and positive piece of information where more women than ever are surviving breast cancer, all thanks to better awareness, screening and treatments.

The hospital says: “We are winning the battle but the fight must go on.”

October marks Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and the Carmarthenshire hospital is launching a downloadable guide to breast cancer with advice on breast cancer symptoms and self-examinations.

Consultant surgical oncologist Mr Simon Holt, from BMI Werndale Hospital, said: “We must never become complacent and always have to look for new ways to get the message across.

“That is why, as a doctor, it is vitally important to be involved in high profile events such as Breast Cancer Awareness Month to encourage more women to take control of their breast health. Across the course of their life, every woman in the UK will have a one in eight chance of developing the disease. If you suspect or notice a lump or change in your breast it is imperative you visit your GP straight away.”

You can download the guide at http://www.bmihealthcare .co.uk.

And more and more people are getting involved to fight the disease. Carmarthen’s ladies fashion store Mossies held their own charity fashion show at Carmarthen’s Ivy Bush Hotel.

The Ivy Bush was taken over by 160 women who enjoyed an afternoon of dinner and conversation, and was the perfect chance to admire the clothes on sale, as modelled by many of the women who attended. One local Carmarthen networking group Beyond20 organised a lunch to help raise money for the Tenovus Cancer Charity.

Beyond20 unites women in business to meet and network over lunch within relaxed surroundings. The lunch gathered a big crowd and was a huge success.

A bag swap, pink dessert donations, online donations and donated stock raised impressive amount of £532.75 that will go towards supporting cancer patients and their families.

Co-founder of Beyond20, Jo Watson, said: “It was very successful with 31 ladies attending in total. And Marc Scaife, of Con Passionata created a pink-themed menu to coincide with the lunch event. Raising over £500 as a result was a fantastic achievement.

“All the ladies were very supportive towards our fundraising events.

“The handbag amnesty was very popular at the event where ladies brought a handbag they no longer wanted and could purchase another for £5, and the remaining bags will be sold via the Tenovus Carmarthen Branch.”

Cheryl George of Tenovus said: “Events such as the Beyond20 pink lunch helps Tenovus to raise vital funds and enables vital research in to prevention, diagnosis and treatment as well as support with the community to continue.

“We were delighted with the clothing donations which came at the right time for our Carmarthen store.”
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Things that scare the LIFE out of me

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1. Im ok being on my own and I don’t need to be around people all the time. BUT the feeling of being lonely really frightens me.

2. Not having enough time to do what I want before settling down. I LOVE my job but I want to travel more and I don’t want any regrets.

3. Being alone in the house at night, and jumping at every little creak and squeak the floorboards make, despite knowing NO ONE can get in or out, and not believing in ghosts or the supernatural.

4. Not finding ‘the one’. Yes it’s cliche, but deep down, I do want to find that ‘one person who completes me’. Yeah, ok, that was too much…

5.As gorgeous as that baby is in the above pic, his eyes scare me. Is that just me?

AND last but not least…

Being afraid that I won’t ever have that moment of clarity, where I can close my eyes and say to myself ‘Everything is ok’ and actually believe it because that is the truth.

What I learnt from SATC

1. Yeah, we can be one of those. Deal with it.

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2. Sometimes its ok to be a little arrogant, especially when its true. AND It’s ok to vent. But not took much (Miss Bradshaw: take note)

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3. Cosmos are always a good idea.

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4. It’s important to feel good about yourself and to feel ok about being alone. Maybe not forever, but to at least feel comfortable in your own presence. MEN. ARE. NOT. EVERYTHING.

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5. Unfortunately, if you live in the same town/village/city/island as him, this will happen. At least once.

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6. As much as she complains, we all know she had a happy ending. So we can just giggle at this quote, right? Uh huh?

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7. The truth hurts. But sometimes, we do need to hear it.

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